How old do people live to?

As you know, the bible says that people lived thousands of years. I think there are 3 explanations and i ask you to decide which is the most plausable:

The bible is true
That people really live to thousands of years even though science has shown that people dont live that long. This option would only work if youre an idiot planning on throwing science out of the window

The bible is misunderstood
That we are misunderstanding how they measured ages when the bible was written. The problem is that your bible was translated by a proper translator and so is unlikely to be mistranslated.

The people who wrote the bible were stupid
The bible was written before scientists discovered how long people live and before theyd worked when people die they just guessed and got it wrong.

Ckearky option 3 is the best explanation for this and i hope we all agree that the bible just got it wrong.

the word of a sky daddy|?

Xians say that there book is "the word of god" however it cant have escaped the attention of anyone who had looked at a copy that it contains many words. Thus my argument is as follows:

1.The word of someone is one word long (otherwise it would by the words of god)
2.Xians say that there book is the word of god
3.tghe bible contains lots of words
4.therefore it is not the word of god

Or is only one word the true word and the rest is rubbish? If so, how do you decided which word is the one your sky daddy wrote?

A Contradiciton

The bible says that astrology is wrong? Yeah?

The Bible says that the wise men used astrology to find baby jebus? Yeah

The Bible contradicts itself? Yeah

Watch your language...but im quoting the bible....

A swear word can be found in the bible:

While Israel was staying in Shit (Numbers 25:1) :P

Jebus wants to eat us....

Ive come accross a great argument from Christopher Hitchens. Basically, Jebus said that he is a shepheard and that we are his sheep. Well what does a shepheard do? They look after the sheep until they are fat and then eat them. Therefore Jebus wants to eat us if you believe the bible.

Why are there copying errors in the bible

Your sky daddy being omnipotent, as they are, could have easily made sure that your bible got copied each time without errors. Imagine that everytime some scribe was about to make a copying error their pen broke or it temporarily stopped working. That way the scribe would know to check what they were copying again. Or suppose you sky daddy corrected there copied version when nobody was looking. Or why didnt your skydaddy send a photocopier down from heaven so that the disciples could copy their gospels? I mean, giving the disciples the gift of a photocopier would be far more practicle than giving them the gift of the holy spirit who doesnt even exist. Clearly they could have guaranteed that the bible went down from generation to generation without any copying errors.

And so it might come as suprise to some xians that the bible does infact have billions of copying errors - more errors than there are words in the bible.

More evidence that the bible was plagiarised

But his colleagues at Hebrew University said the Israelites were not the only ones using proto-Canaanite characters

To many versions to choose from...

Now xians might not be aware of this, however there are different translations of the bible. So I can look up a passage in one bible and it will be different wording to if I looked it up in another. But if the bible is the word of a sky daddy then how come the wording is different depending on the version? Which bible is the word of your sky daddy? The origional greek version or the modern one, the old fashioned king james one or the johovah witness version?

A quick test

Imagine your walking along and a couple on young children come up to you. You know these children as the son and daughter of your best friend. With a cheeky smile on their face, the children in a joking manor laugh and call you bauldy. Infact, ever since you hair fell out this has been your nickname and so you laugh back and carry on your way.

Now imagine that you are a sky daddy. What do you do:

a)Laugh and demonstrate a good sense of humour. Afterall, calling some guy bauldy is hardly a crime.
b)Send hundreds of bears to shred the children to pieces and give the slowest and most painful death that you can. Then send them to eternsl punishment in hell afterwards
c)Feel sorry for the guy and make his hair grow back so that he can have the last laugh

Now the answer xians give will test how well they know their bible.........

CS Lewis admitted that the bible contained failed propheses

There is an article here that shred xianity to pieces

CS Lewis aparantly wrote once:

"Say what you like," we shall be told, "the apocalyptic beliefs of the first Christians have been proved to be false. It is clear from the New Testament that they all expected the Second Coming in their own lifetime. And, worse still, they had a reason, and one which you will find very embarrassing. Their Master had told them so. He shared, and indeed created, their delusion. He said in so many words, ‘this generation shall not pass till all these things be done.’ And he was wrong. He clearly knew no more about the end of the world than anyone else."

So even C S Lewis admited that the bible contains false propeses

Contradictions in the bible

Dan Barker once asked an xian what they would count as a contradiction in the bible. They said that it would be something like one gopel saying jebus was cricified on a tuesday and the other saying he was crucified on a Friday. Now when xians want concrete examples of contradicions like that how can us atheists possible argue our case? Xians seem to think that if they can find a way to reconcile the contradictions we produce it somehow makes them go away but why? Simply saying one was using metaphoriacal language, or that they are refering to different times or just because one gospel doesn't mention it doesn't mean it contradicts with the gospel that does is a complete cop out.

Take the two genealogies, now they clearly contradict each other and yet xians will claim that one is for marys side of the family and the other is for josephs. As if we are going to accept that.

Lord of the rings and star wars Vs the bible

Anyone who has met a starwars or lord of the rings fan will know how fanatical they can be about a work of fiction. Infact some star wars fans have even tried to get jedi as an official religion. So if, say, 2000 years ago someone wrote a best selling novel called the bible would it be difficult to see how people might have started taking it a bit to seriously? You know, just as you get lord of the rings conventions they started to organise jesus parties. Soon this got out of hand and people forgot that it was only a fictional story...and here we are now with only intelligent people like me realising how the bible is only a novel.

Eat honey?

Proverbs 24:13 says "eat honey, my son, for it is good; honey from the comb is sweet to your taste"

Now, firstly do all xians follow their bible and eat honey? Are people who are ilergic to honey unable to become christians or do they have to follow the bible and eat honye even if they die? Secondly honey is bad for your teeth and so the bibles advice goes against dental science.

Beaming the bible

Ive been thinking over the past few days how your sky daddy should beam the bible into our heads. Now one common criticism is that people dont read the bible before commenting on it however if we had a copy beamed into our heads when we were born it would not be a problem. I find it is hard to know if i should believe the bible or the koran or the book of mormon however if the bible was already in my head then it would be obvious. Also think of all the time people waste reading their bibles however under my plan people could use the time to do other things like researching science.

Now this is logically sound proof that my way is better however if i can do something better than your sky daddy why dont you worship me?

the bible say that pi is 3

somewhere in the bible it says that pi=3 now anyone who has done maths will no that this is not the case. Pi is actually 3. 1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999837 2978049951 0597317328 1609631859 5024459455 3469083026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 5875332083 8142061717 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9588970695 3653494060 3402166544 3755890045 6328822505 4525564056 4482465151 8754711962 1844396582 5337543885 6909411303 1509526179 3780029741 2076651479 3942590298 9695946995 5657612186 5619673378 6236256125 2163208628 6922210327 4889218654 3648022967 8070576561 5144632046 9279068212 0738837781 4233562823 6089632080 6822246801 2248261177 1858963814 0918390367 3672220888 3215137556 0037279839 4004152970 0287830766 7094447456 0134556417 2543709069 7939612257 1429894671 5435784687 8861444581 2314593571 9849225284 7160504922 1242470141 2147805734 5510500801 9086996033 0276347870 8108175450 1193071412 2339086639 3833952942 5786905076 4310063835 1983438934 1596131854 3475464955 6978103829 3097164651 4384070070 7360411237 3599843452 2516105070 2705623526 6012764848 3084076118 3013052793 2054274628 6540360367 4532865105 7065874882 2569815793 6789766974 2205750596 8344086973 5020141020 6723585020 0724522563 2651341055 9240190274 2162484391 4035998953 5394590944 0704691209 1409387001 2645600162 3742880210 9276457931 0657922955 2498872758 4610126483 6999892256 9596881592 0560010165 5256375678 and so the bible is wrong. Now maybe the bible could have roundd it but no mathematician rounds it to zero decimal places.

should we stone people for reading harry potter?

According to the bible parents should stone their children to death simply for reading harry potter. indeed, these were the passages used in the witch hunts. We often look back and say how horrible witch hunts were but surely they were simply people following their bible.

As xians realise that following the bible is wrong why dont they just go the full way and become atheists?

Argument from amazon reviews

Now if the bible was the word of a sky daddy wouldnt it have 5 stars on amazon and glowing reviews? Well no, it actually has less than 4 stars. If you dont believe me click here.

Here are some of the reviews:

This book should never be left where it could fall into the hands of children. Recurrent themes of bloody violence, murder, racism, incest and rape are dealt with extremely irresponsibly. Horrific events are presented as justified by circumstances and as solutions to petty wrongs.

Constant repetition yet also hypocracy of previous chapters within the same sentance
It's almost as if someone wrote this is some kind of a joke!

First of all there seems to be a million different versions of The Bible to choose from, so settling down on just one is a little difficult. How would I know which one is the best? Eenie-meenie-miney-moe saves the day.

The second half of the book introduces some new characters, most importantly Jesus Christ who seems to be based on Buddha. Here's a confusing part that is never really clarified. Jesus is the son of Mary and Joseph, but he is also referred to as the son of God. Which is it?

I think we get the idea.

A genuine difficulty

people want an example of a biblical difficulty then here we go - but be warned, it is certainly a difficulty.

The gospel of Matthew begins with a boring genealogy like that we are told to avoid in 1 Tim.1:4 ("Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies") and Tit.3:9 ("Avoid foolish questions and genealogies").

Oh, and welcome to my blog fifi - it's nice to know that some intelligent people visit here occasionally.

Why doesnt the bible have me on the edge of my seat?

A top notch speech writer will get their point across in a way that even an idiot can understand. They will explain even the most complex issues in a way that even the most retarded person on the planet can understand without even thinking. They will make sure that their oponents cannot twist their words and leave no ambiguities.

Now imagine a novelist who had a writing style that meant it took years of studying their works before you knew what they were on about.

Someone like Dan Brown has these qualities, his arguments, plot line etc are easy to follow. Is his true for the bible? No. Why wouldn't skydaddyum have written the bible to be like the da vinci code? Think about it, Bart Ehrman asks how many people have read the bible and how many have read the da vinci code. if the bible was the word of a skydaddy the wouldnt reading it have you on the edge of your seat instead of the da vinci code?

Indianna jones is fiction and history.

I dont think people understand that not everything if life is complete fiction or complete fact. The russians have got annoyed that the new indianna jones film is historically inacurate claiming 'It's rubbish... In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the US.' (my source) Well ofcourse they didnt you idiots - its a story.

Its a bit like the xians who say that the bible is all true. No, its a fictional story based in real locations etc Then xians say that because the charcters etc in the da vinci code are not real none of it is. no, some of it is true, and some of it isnt.

Indianna Jones is jazzed up arhcaeology based on a fictional story but things like the crystal skulls exist. The da vinci code is based on real early church history put together with fictioanl character and events but still contains a lot of truth. The bible is based on some real places and superstitious beliefs of the time but the story etc is not real. Although I suspect that archaology suppoerts indianna jones better than it dos the bible.

The new indianna jones film is good though, about the same standard as temple of doom but not as good as the other two. Worth seeing though.

So yeah, stop going through life dismissing stuff as fiction and accepting stuff as facts. It may be a bit of both.